Every now and then, I read my horoscope. This is the one they had for today: You are on target today with your charm and wit, manifesting the most likable part of your personality. You can accomplish a lot if you work at a high enough level of efficiency, but it might take too much effort to swing into action now. Even if the first steps are uncomfortable, you need to start walking toward your goals. Good times are ahead, but don’t lose track of the more mundane responsibilities. Given everything going on, I think it is pretty cool!
This is the one they had for tomorrow: Your ideas for self-improvement might include taking a class or enrolling in an entirely new course of study. Unfortunately, these plans might require modification when you run into a logistical barrier. This isn’t time to give up, for the apparent obstacle is not as overwhelming as it seems. Strive relentlessly for your dreams; persistence is rewarded one way or another.
I just keep moving confidently forward the direction of my dreams…. I always loved that Henry David Thoreau quote!
I’m being called to go back to the basics… of what?
Project planning
Understanding people, with compassion and love
Listening
Letting go of how it is right now
Understanding expectations, tasks, due dates
Team work – Asking people for help, allowing others to assist, offering feedback, giving guidance, leading others
Letting go of the end result
I’m letting go of control.
I’m allowing others to assist me
I am assisting other people, with boundaries
I don’t have to have all of the answers, or all of the details figured out on my own
I don’t need to feel as if these fall solely on my shoulders
Actions don’t define who I am
My true self is that… I AM THAT… I AM GOD
How can I take advantage of my position and find joy?
I have a lot of freedom in my role
I have the time to do my morning cardio and afternoon workouts
I have time to get together with David
I have my own office
I have the talent to do a lot of different things well and quickly
What rituals do I have to help me remember and practice these things?
Give thanks for what I have
Visualize what I want in my life already unfolding
Continue to read and allow more positive thoughts infuse me
Listen for messages that I need to hear and learn
Surrender to things as they are right now
Do I think or feel that someone feels threatened by me at work? I hadn’t thought about that. maybe? There is a conflict of interest when we work with consultants. Their role is to be able to show their value by their actions, by their work, contributions. If we are able to produce quality, quickly, concisely, then it may be a game where they to continue to be or feel they need to work ahead of us, to be able to stay on. I’ve been giving my thoughts and feedback honestly and getting little in return, or only after the fact after certain meetings, etc. Who knows what really happens when the returning comments from the meetings leads to meandering conversation. I had an observation yesterday. Other people have been commenting about my weight loss and how it was noticeable. I was having difficulty seeing it myself as I look at myself everyday. We had a meeting and I noticed someone mention how her clothes were feeling loose. I chimed in and said that was really good. This was someone who tells me that she doesn’t have time for exercise.
Can others feel threatened when I feel confident? I never really thought about it this way. This confidence has come so subtly as the quiet, and still part of me gets more and more grounded. It also comes from not wanting to be so tied into all of this stuff. The politics. The competition. It’s just not the most important thing as others might expect me to feel to think. What if there wasn’t this race to be ‘whatever’ label?
How are all of these things in alignment with the teachings of the Bodhisattva? The avatar who choose to be here, to have this human experience, is in the process of a new experience. I am in a state of being more aware. And so, everything becomes so much more amplified! So, I notice… and then say.. “Ah… lack of response… Ah… resistant communication…” and I must remember to be in it with a compassionate heart – bodhichitta. I must also remember to have compassion for myself first and then others.
How can I do this for myself?
When I notice… slow down… say to my self… I AM THAT… I am the bodhisattva practicing bodhichittaI found myself saying to myself I AM THAT the other day… multiple times through out the day. It was helpful in staying centered, grounded and being compassionate toward others. /
How can I demonstrate this to myself?
Go someplace – look into a mirror and say… I AM THAT I am the bodhisattva practicing bodhichitta
Do I believe others know what they are doing (when they don’t reply or respond, etc)?
I have to believe so as the things I am speaking of are so basic. Are they acting consciously or subconsciously to block these things? I don’t know. It may be things are consciously this way so that someone can feel in control. There are a few involved. It’s also me, as I change, some things become clear. I see things from a different point of view, which is a challenge as I move through the experience.
What are the sides of me that I want to disown as part of this process?
I find myself with very little patience. Because these things are so mundane at this point, it is taking too much of my energy to have to deal with it.
Once I get to a point seeing things as ridiculous in my mind, I become quite a smart ass inside my self.
A few times I had to have had obvious signs on my face – like you are fu*$_#% kidding me right? – type of look.
Patience only goes so far anymore
This leads to disrespect. So, I have to reprogram my mind to start new each day, at the next interaction, which ever comes next.
